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Diana has been working on this masterpiece since we got home. We mean no offense to anyone, but we call this the Hillbilly Video! We hope you enjoy it.

We wanted to take a no holds barred kick ass motorcycle adventure to the mountains of West Virginia for our summer trip, and so we did. This was not going to be your average candy ass weekend ride. This was gonna be the hairpin turn switchback twisty ride from hell ! Diana and I got together with Lem and Darlene McMaster one night back in December and planned the basic idea for a 5 day trip to Snowshoe, New River Gorge and Morgantown. A ride that will put hair on your chest! The first two days we would spend at Snowshoe Ski Resort for the first two days of Freedom Fest, an all brand motorcycle rally and $10,000 Poker Run. We wouldn’t register for the rally or particpate in the poker run, but we would partake of their entertainment. A few months later we had 8 motorcycles signed up for the entire 5 day trip and 3 motorcycles that would meet up with us for the final 3 days.

The Mission

Wednesday July 16th: Travel quickly but safely to Snowshoe Ski Resort over 350 miles away in the heart of Monongahela National Forest

Thursday July 17: Take a short lunch ride to Marlinton and return to the resort to enjoy the ammenities and entertainment

We left early Wednesday morning with a group of eight motorcycles. Eveyone in the group had traveled by motorcycle before, in other words we didn’t have any beginners. Eight bikes is a great number for an aggressive ride like this. We traveled down Route 301 from Delaware and crossed the Bay Bridge to Annapolis, Maryland. We cut across Maryland to Frederick and then Harpers Ferry. We stopped at Winchester Harley Davidson in Virginia for lunch (we previously stopped at Winchester on our Skyline trip last year). The Winchester dealership had a nice cafe and we enjoyed the sandwiches.

Then it was back on the road because we needed to get to the top of Cheat Mountain before dark. Cheat Mountain is the second highest point in West Virginia at 4848′. We stopped at a neat old country store at Seneca Rocks for gatorade and a butt break.

The country became more and more beatiful the further we got into West Virginia. I found out my butt is currently conditioned for up to 300 miles. I was enjoying the curvy roads but was eager to get to the resort as monkey butt was taking it’s toll. Lem took us past the Snowshoe Ski Resort entrance and I wasn’t sure what was up. My ass was not happy! Definitely not a candy ass ride! We pulled into the next gas station/country store to fuel up. Lem pointed up at the top of the mountain at the resort and said that’s our next stop. Diana and I were toast! I couldn’t believe we still had to climb the mountain. I went into the country store and bought a bottle of Gold Bond powder. The only kind they had was the medicated kind for foot fungus. I bought it anyway! I went in the bathroom and put loads of it in my pants and powdered my rear. I came out of the bathroom covered in powder feeling better, until Lem told me the medicated kind burns. Then my imagination took over and I felt a burning sensation. Oh well, time to climb. The road up the mountain was awesome, lots of tight windy turns. We caught a glimpse or two of deer, then more deer and then even more deer. Finally we got checked into the resort after riding 370 miles!

We unpacked and freshened up a little. Then we regrouped for dinner at the Foxfire Grill. This was a great ski lodge restaurant fashioned like a log cabin with large glass picture windows facing the sun as it set. Diana and I enjoyed Sam Adams beers and buffalo wings at the bar while we waited for everyone to arrive. The wings were great but we would have preferred Yuengling.

We sat down to dinner and the menu’s were made of slices of tree wood, very neat. We had a first rate meal! At first the sun was right in our eyes and we were blinded but as it set we caught a beautiful view that I can not describe in words. Thank god we have pictures to show you!

Some of our friends ordered smores for desert, I’m not sure if that was on the menu but it was cool watching them toast marshmellows at the table of a fancy ski lodge restaurant. After dinner we walked around the resort and then headed to bed.

Although there were some motorcyclists, mountain bikers and hikers at the resort, it was like being at a ski resort in the summer on a weekday. Oh yeah, we were at a ski resort in the summer on a week day! We felt like we had the place to ourselves. I guess most of the bikers will arrive on Friday after we leave.

The next morning I took my saddlebags off the bike, adjusted my shocks down a notch and got ready for some West Virgina country riding. We headed down the mountain. I rode sweep so I didn’t really experience the startled reaction of our frontmost riders as they encountered a few deer standing in the middle of the raod. By time I saw the deer they were on the sides of the mountain just watching us go by like scared pets. Our ride into Marlinton was awesome. Great sweeping turns, great twisties, great scenery! Diana started taking her “Hillbilly” pictures as we passed trailer homes that had decks built onto them. Then we passed a million satalite dishes, run down cars, tractors, school busses and outhouses. We passed giant radio telescopes at the National Radio Astronomy Observatory in Greenbank. They have the worlds largest fully steerable radio telescope. It is the worlds largest land based moveable structure. It looks like something out of a movie about aliens or something.

He had lunch at this great little family restaurant with deck seating on the side of a river called the River Place Restaurant. They always serve home made pie which is fantastic. We watched people fish and raft in the river as we ate.

After lunch we continued on our loop around the mountain and we started to encounter the West Virginia S turns! Great riding! Then we headed up the back side of the mountain on Route 66. This was a steep ascent with cambered hairpin turns that will make your ass pucker. Floorboards were scraped as we leaned deep into the turns. You gotta ride this mountain!

After the ride Diana and I changed into our bathing suits and headed for the ski lift which was only open for another hour or so. We took the ski lift down to the lake which only had a handfull of people enjoying it. We took a paddle boat out and had the whole lake to ourselves. We could see our room way up high on top of the mountain.

Then we took the lift back up, grabbed some pizza and a few beers and took pictures of Diana sitting in a giant Adirondack chair. Then we went to sit in the hot tub! Oh yeah baby, this is living large!

We changed into dry clothes and and caught the ending of an outdoor concert by rock group Geneva. The lead singer has quite a set of lungs, enormous! Then we caught the X-rated adult comedy act of Bag Lady Sue. Oh my god, the muff puppet is the funniest act! You have to check out the video, but I warn you… this is for adults only! It’s not everyday you watch a puppet muff diving. I tried to post the video here for you but I had trouble. I think you have to go to YouTube and sign in and confirm you are an adult in order to watch it. Do a search for Bag Lady Sue on YouTube. You will LOL and pee your pants if you watch it.

Just before the comedy act Diana and I found out Big Mike Griffin was playing after the comedy show. We saw him standing outside with Emilie Shantz, the VP of Marketing for Chrome Link Entertainment. This was a great opportunity to actually talk to Big Mike Griffin regarding the documentary I reviewed a few months back. He and Emilie were both very nice, and very tall. Emilie was like a raven haired amazon beauty and Big Mike, well he is BIG! I wish we took a picture with them.

We drank a few Rolling Rocks, caught a few songs by Big Mike, did a little dancing and then hit the hay (we would have preferred Yuengling). We had to be up early for our ride to New River Gorge!

Diana and I just got back from our longest motorcycle journey yet. A five day trip to West Virginia with 17 members of First State HOG. We covered over 1200 miles of the most amazing roads and had perfect weather. No rain, that’s a first for this year!

Yes, we crossed the famous New River Gorge bridge, twice! Then we went under it! It’s the longest single steel arch bridge and second tallest vehicular bridge in the world. We were at the top of Cheat Mountain, the second highest point in West Virginia at 4848′ high. Diana sat in the biggest Adirondack chair we have ever seen. We met the biggest Motorcycle Blues musician in the world. We saw lots of wild critters and a crazy biker puppet give a women oral pleasure! We saw an SUV loaded into the back of a dump truck. I got stung by something in the inner thigh while riding sweep. I don’t know if it was a bee, a wasp or a hornet. I just know it didn’t tickle and I have a big purple welt on my leg. Another one of our members got stung in the finger as he pulled a bee out of his helmet while riding. Yes it was a memorable trip and we have lots to tell you once we download all the pictures and get our thoughts straight. We also tested several new products we look forward to telling you about.

We owe special thanks to Triple S Harley Davidson in Morgantown, WV who stayed open past their closing time to accomodate us. One of our riders was having a technical malfunction on his 2008 105th edition Screaming Eagle Ultra Classic miles and miles from home. Also, we have a t-shirt addict among us who must buy a new t-shirt at every Harley Davidson dealership along the way (even if he already has a few from that dealership already). We were running late and Triple S waited for us. They fixed our friends motorcycle and let us buy all the t-shirts we wanted. I even got one!

Special thanks to Lem McMaster for showing us the most incredible roads we have seen so far and leading us safely for 5 days straight. I also want to thank the other Road Captains, Road Captain Prospects and members who ran wing and sweep during our trip.

It was a great time that Diana and I will remember for the rest of our lives, and that’s what it’s all about!

Where to begin?  I love this bike!  She is a cute little bugger, and she runs great.  She is dependable, fuel efficient, and stylin’!

The XLH 883 is known as a “hugger”.  I am not entirely sure what that means, but the bike is a lowered version of a Sportster.  It is just the right size for many women or men of smaller stature.  The seat height is only about a half-inch below a Low Rider, and is actually a half-inch higher than the current Softail Deluxe.  Its overall length and wheelbase are only about 5 inches shorter than your average big-twin, so don’t let “small” make you think it is a mini-bike!  Think of it as super-easy to maneuver around the garage!

The bike is about 200-250 pounds lighter than your typical Harley cruiser or touring bike.  It is very easy to maneuver, and is very fun to zip around town.  It has a higher center of gravity, so when you “dip,” you actually dip.  It should be a carnival ride!  FUN - FUN - FUN !!!  Of course this has its downside too.  When riding on a windy day or across a bridge with strong cross-winds, the bike gets thrashed around like a dinghy in a hurricane!  It can be a workout riding this bike, but then who’s going to complain about building up arm muscles and dropping a couple of pounds?

Even though my bike is going on 8 years old, she is just coming into her prime.  They say it takes 5000 miles just to break them in.  Well she just crossed the 7000 mile mark Saturday.  I have her serviced every spring whether she needs it or not (LOL).  She got the 5K treatment this May, and I had to get her a new battery.  Oh horror!  A new battery is the only “repair” I’ve ever had to do…I should go screaming to find the “lemon law” police!!!  This bike is solidly reliable, and has been professionally tuned by Custom Cycle & Machine in New Castle, Delaware.

The 883 cc motor is powerful but not too powerful.  She’s got some serious pick-up-and-go, but she doesn’t run super-hot like the new 96 cu inch V-twins on 2007 and later models.  It’s a win-win situation especially for a new rider who might be tentative about too much power.  She is carbuerated, so a little warm up time is needed to get her running in the morning.  I just let her run while I check her over and get geared up.  She also has a tendency to spit a little oil out of the airbox when she is run extensively at high rpms, but its no big deal.

The best part about my Sporty is the fuel economy.  She has been getting 70 miles to the gallon!  Yes, that is right — we gassed up yesterday at 106 miles and she only took 1.5 gallons.  You might think that it is a disadvantage only having a 3-point-something gallon tank, but the fact of the matter is that she doesn’t need a bigger one.  I can go 200 miles without even thinking about a fill-up.  I use HALF as much gas in my bike as I do in my car (which gets a pretty darn good 35 mpg)!  If I was going to keep her, I’d throw on a luggage rack and use her as a daily commuter and to run errands around town.

Altogether, my 2001 Harley Davidson XLH 883 is a fabulous bike!  She has several chrome accessories including the engine guard, oil tank, clutch & brake levers, upper & lower belt covers and sprocket cover. She also has a Barnett steel braided teflon coated clutch cable that made it easier for me to pull in the clutch than the original 2001 cable. Jay says if you throw on apes or drag bars and cool exhaust you would have a stylin’ chopper, but I like her just the way she is!  She was a fabulous beginner bike for me, and I am sure that she will do right by someone else that will love her as much as I do.

If you know someone who is in the market for a great bike like this, check her out at http://delaware.craigslist.org/mcy/753129412.html or email editor@roadcaptainusa.com

Once upon a time, a date took me for an evening ride on his Harley — I was hooked for life!  I couldn’t tell you what it was about riding, I just knew that I couldn’t wait until the next time I might have a chance to hop on the back of a bike.  Then I met Jay, and months later he purchased his First Harley - The Painted Pig.  Still, it was a tease because he had a learner’s permit and wasn’t legally permitted to carry passengers.  But we zipped around in circles around the storage facility where he kept it garaged, and every once in awhile we would actually go for a ride.

As we cruised along I found myself constantly looking over his shoulder to see what he was doing.  I was fascinated.  After a month or two, I started looking into motorcycle safety courses.  I wasn’t entirely sure that I actually wanted to have my own bike or even get my endorsement, but I had to know how the thing operated!  (I’m the kind of person who always needs to be learning something new.)

This is where I ran into a little snag.  Due to the exploding popularity of motorcycles, brought on largely by the Discovery Channel’s extensive lineup of bike shows like American Chopper and Biker Build-Off, all of the courses in my area were booked solid through Halloween!  Well, I guessed it wasn’t that important, so I pretty much gave up on the idea….until Jay sent me a text message one Friday afternoon saying that he had just registered for the class at Cecil Community College, and they still had 5 openings in the class!

I called and left a message that I wanted to take the class, but by the time they left me a voicemail Monday morning, there were only 2 slots left.  I returned the call on my lunch break, and took the LAST space in the class!  Woo-HOO!  Mission accomplished — almost.  I couldn’t have even told you what a throttle was, let alone where it was located on a bike.  My class was a little over a month away, and somehow they were going to get me to be able to figure-eights, swerves, and quick-stops (while downshifting to first gear)–possibly in the pouring rain–over the course of a weekend?????  Yeah, right!!!

Herein lies the logic.  (I am a math teacher after all!)  I am going to need to at least familiarize myself with the vehicle and its basic operations before the class.  I am going to need to practice, a lot, after the class…otherwise it is a fruitless venture.  No one I know is going to let some psycho 37-year old chick practice learning how to ride on their prized Harley.  I am going to have to get a bike of my own!

I figured I just needed some little old piece of crap used bike that I could use and abuse and it wouldn’t matter.  One evening I logged on to eBay for the first time in my life, figuring that I wouldn’t actually buy anything but I could at least get an idea of the price range I could expect to find.  I didn’t even really know what I was looking at, but what I found was much more than an old piece of crap.

It was a four year old Harley Davidson XLH 883 Sportster Hugger (whatever that meant) with only 941 miles on it!  The photo glistened with lots of chrome stuff juxtaposed to the glossy black paint.  She was beautiful!  She was practically brand new.  She lived about a half-hour north of Philly.  She had one bid on her and a “Buy it Now” price!  Patience is not one of my better qualities, so I clicked “Buy It Now”.  A few moments later, I got a message saying “You have won!”  :-D  How cool was that?!!!  Now I just had to figure out how to get my new beauty home.

I didn’t know how to ride her.  Jay wasn’t allowed to ride her on interstates (still with that darn learner’s permit).  Did I mention that she was 2.5-3 hours away?

I rented a cargo van and drove from Baltimore to Jay’s apartment in Elkton, MD on Friday night.  We got up at the crack of dawn on a ridiculously hot & humid Saturday morning in July and drove to American Classic Motors in Zeiglerville, PA.  The guys there were great, and they even threw in free t-shirts for both of us!  Jay had to work Saturday night, so I dropped him off halfway home. I drove the van back to my townhouse in Baltimore where I had to wait until my brother could round up a couple of friends the next day to help get the bike down out of the van.  It was much easier getting her in at the dealer with their ramp and everything!  After working up a pretty good sweat, we looked her over in the parking lot and all said “gee, what a pretty bike…anybody know what to do with her?”  We wheeled her around the house, lifted her over the curb, and rolled her in through the sliding glass door to my basement.  It was pretty anti-climactic.

First thing Monday morning, I returned the rental van and went straight to the DMV to get my learner’s permit and register my new baby.  Then (after checking with Jay who said that the clutch operated the same way as in a car), I took her for a spin.  OK, I know, it was probably not the smartest thing in the world to do…but remember I said I am not very good with patience?

There was an elementary school across the street from my house.  All I needed to do was get around the corner to the parking lot, and then I could just ride around in circles and get acclimated.  I didn’t even have to shift out of first gear.  There is practically no traffic to deal with in the suburban residential area, so what could go wrong?  Well, I sat straddling my bike at the corner until I was good and ready, gave it just a little throttle, and let out the clutch.  That was when my baby lurched forward a bit faster than I expected her to, and I freaked out that I would never be able to get the bike turned left before I ran out of road and I hit the curb!  Well, I almost made it.  I was parallel to the curb just as I scraped against it, and toppled over.  My bike was scratched in a couple spots down the pipes, but she was no worse for wear.  The engine guard fileted the grass, and I bruised my leg on the curb.  I bruised my ego more.

Some guy driving by in a pick up truck helped me stand her back up again, then drove off as I insisted I was fine.  But the worst part was that I had flooded the motor or something, and she wouldn’t turn over.  So I had to tuck my tail between my legs and duck walk her back down the block to my house and put her away.

I learned a lot that day.  I learned that patience IS a virtue.  And I learned to respect the machine.  I would never push her to something we weren’t ready for again.  I have treated her well, and she has treated me to a couple thousand miles and smiles.  She showed me how to live.  I will miss her.

If you know anyone who might be interested in taking care of my baby in the next chapter of her life, please email editor@roadcaptainusa.com

• 2001 Harley Davidson 883 Hugger
• Gets 70 mpg
• 7000 miles
• Lots of chrome
• Good beginner bike
• Would make cool chopper with drag bars or apes and cool pipes
• Looking for $5000 or best offer

We traveled to a distant galaxy far far away… in the middle of no where… to a restaurant called the Red Roost in Whitehaven, Maryland. After riding 120 miles the crew was in need of a little R&R. We ate chicken, ribs and crab cake served with french fries and corn on the cob. It was a voyage to be remembered!

If you didn’t read the intro like Shatner, please go back and start over.

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Every year the Baltimore Metro Chapter of HOG organizes an event known as the Red Roost Ride. Members from the HOG chapters in Maryland and Delaware are invited. Last year I had just taken on the responsibility of Activities Officer before the event and was going to be on my honeymoon during the event. No one from First Sate HOG went (my fault, sorry). This year I was determined to participate. I was able to motivate a small crew of riders to join me.

Our crew of 7 riders (no passengers) met at 8:45 am at Pencader Plaze in Newark, DE.  Diana and I gassed up at the Exxon where a member of the Pagens MC was also gassing up. Then two members of the BMW Owners Group of DE/MD pulled up also. We recognized them from our ERC class last week and said hello and shared a few jokes. I told them that class will cost me $11,000 and they knew exactly what I meant.

Interesting how my wife, Ed’s wife and the BMW dudes wife all ride their own bikes. Must be a sign of the times.

We left on time from Newark, DE at 9:00am and headed down the quickest route to our destination. One of our riders didn’t feel well and turned back at the Route 301 Welcome Area across the Maryland state line. It took over three hours and we covered 120 miles. Some of the roads we took like Route 301 and 50 were pretty busy, but all of a sudden we got off the beaten path pretty quickly. Next thing you know we are in the middle of no where typical of backroads around the Chesapeake region. As we rode single file down this little back woods road I went to point at some gravel with my foot. I was so focused on pointing out the danger that I didn’t realize that was the entrance to the restaurant. Yep, we had to travel down a gravel driveway several hundred feet to get to the Red Roost which was surrounded by wilderness. We arrived at 12:20. Just after we arrived Old Glory HOG pulled in like a parade. They may be a newly formed chapter but the six of us felt pretty tiny in comparison to their club participation.

Old Glory took a group photo in front of the restaurant and then we did too. Then we went inside. This place is really cool. I would never imagine having such a nice restarant in the middle of east bum f**k. The T-shirts in the gift shop are great. We all bought different shirts. We’ll have to try to get a group photo of us in our Red Roost shirts sometime soon. Check mine out.

We met a nice couple from Delmarva HOG (Seaford, DE) who are members of the CMA. Their names were Doug and Suzanne. They both rode Harley Trikes. Doug’s has a trailer that looks like a little Hummer. Taz keeps an eye on the Trikes and trailer when Doug’s not around.

Our sponsoring dealership, Mikes Famous Harley Davidson, was recently purchased by Harley Davidson of Annapolis. It was very fitting that we were seated next to the Annapolis Chapter. Annapolis took up several tables and our table was an extension of theirs; like we were their little sister chapter. I was fortunate to be seated next to their Director, Liz, who I met last month at our general meeting. Liz was way cool, it was great fun comparing notes and discussing club stuff with her.

The food and the service were great. Randy from Baltimore Metro HOG did a fantastic job organizing this event and I look forward to participating many more times. Four of us had the crab cakes with french fries and corn on the cob. There was butter in a squeeze bottle on the table that you squirt onto the corn cob. How neat is that? Kevin had fried chicken. Old School had the Bar-B-Q ribs. The rack of ribs made everything else look tiny. He looked like Fred Flinstone eating that gigantuan rack of ribs. The crab cakes rocked!

I didn’t feel like taking the same route home; that would be boring. I thought everyone would just split up after the event and Diana and I would head out on a route I had partially planned in my head. I didn’t really map out a route home. 

Kevin was heading out to the Baltimore area and said goodbye. He ended up riding with some members from Old Glory. Thank you Old Glory for looking out for our friend.

Now we were 5. Karen and Ed Fortner, Old School Bob, and my faithful wife and riding companion Lady Di headed out toward Salisbury, MD with me. I screwed up the way I wanted to go but no one cared. We ended up back on Route 50 West instead of 50 East and I entirely missed Route 13. We explored Route 313 North suggested by my wife, Diana (several times before I finally listened). Route 313 was a great ride! I didn’t like leading a group and not having everything mapped out and structured. We were going to follow 313 further North but once I recognized some familiar roads from our Tilghman Island ride with the McMaster family I pulled off 313 and followed 311 toward Delaware. I kept following the signs to Smyrna, Delaware. Everytime I pulled up to a red light or stop sign my wing women would come up next to me and cluck like a Red Roost.  She had the nerve to call me a chicken! My own wife!

After leading the three day trip to Mansfield, PA in a monsoon back in May I took a little break from leading rides. This was my first since then. The ride home was very enjoyable and we all had a great time at the Red Roost. The voyage was a success!

Click here to see more pictures.

Captains Notes:

1. remember to order the ribs next year!

2. Diana rode like a pro all day. She broke 7000 miles on the Sporty today. She is getting pretty comfy on it even though the wind is probably tossing her around like a leaf.

3. I broke 10,000 miles on my bike just a few weeks shy of owning it for a year (July 29th).

4. The Red Roost dress code “Comfortable” should be followed by all restaurants.

In anticipation of our upcoming trip through West Virginia, I thought it appropriate to address some great travel tips provided by the American Motorcycle Association.  I first saw these tips mentioned at Keep The Rubber Side Down. This will be our first 5-day tour (we have done several 3-day weekends), so it is shaping up to be quite an adventure!

Here are the “insider tips,” with a little commentary from Mrs RC on each:

1) Eat at weird times. Everyone and their dog eats around 8 a.m., noon and 6 p.m. To get in and out of restaurants in a hurry, don’t be hungry then.

Like you can control when you are hungry!  LOL  Seriously, this is great advice for avoiding long waits.

2) A short metal cable with loops on both ends (like those made to keep people from stealing bicycle seats) is perfect for securing a jacket and helmet to your bike’s helmet lock.

We have one of these.  Jay put it together at Home Depot with help from one of the employees.  It cost about $3 including the little Master pad lock, and it works great!  You just pull the cable through your sleeve and hook the padlock around your helmet strap fastener.

3) Carry a spare key. Zip-tie or duct tape it somewhere hidden on your bike, or better yet, give it to a traveling companion.

Neither one of us even HAS a spare key to our bikes (they only came with one).  Maybe we should look into that.

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68th Annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally & Races

August 4th - 10th, 2008

Click here to get your Rally Map

Click here to get your Rally Guide

Click here and here for more information on the Rally.