An Insane Woman’s Thoughts - Part 3

“Am I crazy?  I am the pee-wee football team mom, the little league baseball scorebook keeper, etc.  I am the professional spectator!  I won’t even play volleyball at a backyard cookout.  What am I thinking?  Learn to ride a motorcycle?  I must be crazy – I don’t even know what a throttle is!”

“Therein is exactly the point!  I need to know what a throttle is.  I need to find out how you shift gears with your hands.  Maybe I will never actually take the handlebars myself after the class, but I have got to find out how this machine works!”  So off I went on a search for motorcycle riding lessons…

First I discovered that there was something called a Motorcycle Safety Basic Rider Course offered through the Motor Vehicle Administration.  It only cost like a hundred bucks…I could do that.  Except every class was booked up all the way through October!  Maybe if I checked another location…nope, they were all booked up too!  I guessed this motorcycle frenzy was bigger than I thought.  Harley-Davidson stocks were up to $50 a share that year, and every time I turned around there was another motorcycle themed show popping up on TV.

Then I found that Harley dealers offered a Rider’s Edge class, but at $250 that was way out of my league!  If I could somehow manage to swing it…no, they were all booked up too.  “Why am I so upset about this?  I’m just a psycho divorcee trying desperately to find myself.  I probably won’t even be able to handle those big bikes anyway.  This whole idea is just stupid.”

I pined away in disappointment for months until one day out of the blue Jay called and told me he had just signed up for a Basic Rider Class at Cecil Community College and there were still a few slots open if I was interested.  Within 24-hours I was registered for the class, though it wouldn’t be until the end of August.

In the meantime it occurred to me that if I was going to learn to ride, no one in their right mind was going to let some crazy 36-year old chick practice riding on their prized Harley!  (Not to mention the fact that I barely even knew anyone who had a bike anyway)  I figured I’d have to pick up some old used piece of crap machine that was cheap and it didn’t matter if I dropped it a million times.  Yet I didn’t know a Ninja from a Goldwing, so I’d better start doing some research into just how much this kind of thing might cost me.

“I’ve never been on eBay before…”

* This article first appeared in print in the November issue of Fast Lane Biker Delamarva and is the third in an ongoing series of articles by Diana Green.

The Quest to Ride - Part 2

Diana in Ocean City Bike Week

After many trials and errors, I did find a really great guy.  He didn’t have a motorcycle, but he wanted one badly!  You see, he raced motocross and enduro as a teen, but gave it up when he went off to college.  Ever since his divorce he’d been wanting to get back into riding…and the huge boom of motorcycle-related TV shows like American Chopper and Biker Build-Off were fueling the fire in his gut.  We were both wannabe’s like mad!

Finally the opportunity arose for him to purchase a totally customized used Sportster with an awesome flame paint job.  Jay’s brother advised him that it was irresponsible & dangerous, but I told him that if he passed up this opportunity he would regret it for the rest of his life.  So he bought the bike.

Diana and Russell

Jay rode his bike from Newark DE and I drove my car from Baltimore MD, and we met in Ocean City MD for Delmarva Bike Week that year.  We chatted with Paul Yaffee about the Billy Lane Sha-Sha shoes Jay was wearing, and Russell Mitchell bought me a beer (he said I smelled nice)!  We hung out with Jeff Shelton at the Independents Chopper booth.  I was completely enamored with the entire biker lifestyle!

Diana and her famous friends

In Delaware, riders with a learner’s permit are not permitted to carry passengers, but Jay would take me for rides on the back every now & then anyway.  We went to bike nights at Hooters and found our way to the Union Hotel where tons of bikers gathered every Sunday for live blues bands and fresh pit beef. 

While we were riding, I found myself constantly looking over his shoulders to see him working the controls.  I just had to know how the thing worked, so I set myself to work finding an open slot in a local Basic Rider course… 

* This article first appeared in print in the September issue of Fast Lane Biker Delamarva and is the second in an ongoing series of articles by Diana Green.

My First Ride - Part 1

I am a mother, a grandmother, a teacher, and a H.O.G. Road Captain.  I wasn’t always a motorcyclist though.  In fact, it was only a handful of years ago that I climbed on the back of a bike for the first time in my life – at age 36! 

It was October 2004 – my divorce had been finalized for nearly a year and I was doing the online dating thing.  I had gone out to dinner with Butch when he asked if I wanted to go for a ride on his Harley.  Thinking it could be fun and was certainly something new, I agreed…even though I had absolutely no idea what it would entail, what to wear, etc.  It was a brisk fall afternoon when he came to pick me up, and we headed up MD-30 towards Hanover PA.  Admittedly, I was a bit nervous, not to mention clueless!

I was tentative, but the ride was nice…until we hit the rush-hour traffic standstill going through Hampstead.  He had his feet mostly on the ground as we barely moved for a good 10-15 minutes, creeping slowly through town.  At one point Butch even said, “Gee it’s such a lovely day I thought I’d take my bike out for a walk!”  This experience wasn’t all bad from my standpoint though.  It gave me the opportunity to get acclimated to sitting on the back of the bike without worrying about flying off the back while we were moving.  By the time we got going again I was actually pretty comfortable.

We ate dinner at a really cute little mom-n-pop place in Hanover – coffee & hot chocolate to warm up, cheeseburgers, fries & sodas, and even some pie a-la-mode for dessert.  The entire bill including tip came to like $14!  We geared back up (me with my totally oversized leather Ravens football jacket and $8 Rite-Aid sunglasses), and headed back home.  The sun was setting at this point, so it was getting COLD!!!  I don’t even think I had gloves at all, and I remember a bank sign saying it was 57 degrees as we rode past.

On that ride back, Butch asked me if I would like to go fast…to which I responded with a resounding “yes!”  This riding thing was totally awesome!  And then he answered with what would be the end of any future our relationship might have had, “no, I won’t go fast with a passenger on board.”  So why’d ya even ask me then, moron?  Butch, I was not so impressed with; but as for the Harley, I was hooked!

* This article first appeared in print in the August issue of Fast Lane Biker Delamarva and is the first in an ongoing series of articles by Diana Green.

Mrs Road Captain is a Road Captain

HOG RC Patch

Holy road tar Batman I married Super Woman! It seems like just a few months ago I was teaching Diana how to ride a motorcycle in a school parking lot in Baltimore. Turns out that was 5 years ago. She has been a dedicated student of motorcycling ever since. She soaks up knowledge like a sponge… as long as it doesn’t come from her husband. Most say that she rides better than me. I say she rides better than most. On top of that she does an excellent job of navigating, mapping and creating great rides. When asked why we should ride through two hours of rain to get to a bike rally she responds with “because that’s what we do!”. So I guess it is only natural that she was patched tonight as an offical HOG Road Captain in First State Chapter. Congratulations Princess, I’ll follow you anywhere!

The Longest 10 Miles

The Boot

It was Million Mile Monday for HOG members around the world, and day #9 in a row of 90+ degree temperatures in Delaware.  The humidity was ridiculous, and the sun was blazing!  We had cut our route a bit short due to the forecast of afternoon thunderstorms, and had just finished up lunch.  A quick check of the radar on Skip’s phone indicated that the storms had already started to pop up, and all of us who were headed north were going to be heading directly into a pretty nasty one!

It was still stiflingly hot where we were in Smyrna, so we decided not to bother with the rain gear since getting wet would be a welcome relief, and the group psyched ourselves up for the trip up US-13.

Mile #1
We were approaching the ramp to get on Rt-1 and cross the Canal Bridge, and I still hadn’t felt a single drop of rain.  There had been a few visible lightning strikes, and the sky was looking quite ominous.  As if Mother Nature had drawn a line where the asphalt switched to concrete at the base of the bridge, all hell broke loose as soon as we crossed that line.  I kept looking at the dark stains on the concrete roadway and thinking that must be oil in there just coming to the surface as the rain began to fall.  It must be incredibly slick, and the winds were pretty strong as we crested the bridge.  Going down the other side I felt like I was being pelted with paint balls, and I couldn’t really see for nothin’!  I was however very glad that I had worn my ¾ helmet with a face shield that day rather than my shorty.

Mile #2
I knew several of the riders were headed much farther north than I, but still it was a bit of a surprise when no one got off the Rt-72 exit with me.  The rains were getting harder with every foot I traveled, and the winds were picking up too.  It made it quite difficult to concentrate on the little details of riding…like exactly which gear I was in.  I pulled up to the traffic light at the end of the ramp, and put my feet down a bit abruptly because of a wind gust.  I tried to balance the bike with one foot on the ground and kick the lever down into first gear, but it wouldn’t budge…so I hoped that I had gotten it all the way down.

As I sat waiting for the light on an inclined slight bank to the left with a huge truck right behind me, I watched as the raindrops on the pavement became white water washing across the roadway and the traffic signals swung sideways in the wind.  The first thought that overwhelmed me was “I am totally alone.”  All of my friends were headed up the highway, and Jay was safe & dry at work.  If anything did happen I would have to handle it completely by myself.  I was having difficulty even holding the bike upright with both feet on the ground because the winds were so strong.  If I could make it around the corner, there was a school a block down the street where I could pull in and be safe for awhile.  There’s no real cover there, but I am already drenched so I’m not sure why that would make a difference anyway.

The traffic light finally changed, I gave it throttle and started letting out the clutch.  The bike did not move.  It was then that I determined I was surely not in first gear.  I shuffled my feet a little as the bike creeped forward about a foot or two.  There was no way on this sideways banked incline with water gushing over my toes that I would be able to pick up a foot enough to get her down to first gear, at least not until the roadway leveled out a little…so I had no choice but to finesse the clutch and practically duck walk my bike around the corner.  I thought the guy in the big truck was going to run me over, but he actually patiently drifted thru the intersection behind me.  I still don’t know if I ever kicked her down into first or if I just fought my way through until second gear could pull her weight, but somehow I actually started moving.

Mile #3
I was in the wrong lane to pull into the school, so I kept on trucking.  Slowly and steadily I rode down Rt-72 toward Red Lion Rd.  There’s a gas station there.  I can pull in and call Jay; he can check the radar for me and let me know where the storm is located, which way it’s moving, and how long until it lets up.  The gas station was on the opposite corner of the intersection from where I caught a red light.  As I sat there I realized that the rain & wind were already dying down so I may as well just keep on moving.

Mile #4
I was very careful to count each shift as I moved along so I’d know exactly what gear I was in.  I was traveling about 40 mph in a 50 mph zone, and thought that I must be a hazard.  But everyone else was going that slowly too, so I stopped worrying about it.  I thought maybe I should turn on my hazard lights, and wondered what on earth possessed me to opt out of the rain gear when I knew I was riding directly into a storm.  At least the hi-viz orange and reflective accents would be much more visible than my soaking wet dark purple mesh jacket.  I spent $175 on good quality gear, why in the world am I not using it?  I never did turn on the blinkers or stop to pull out my rain gear.

Mile #5
Still rolling down Rt-72.  Jay must be worried sick about me.  I bet he has tried to call me, and of course I am not answering.  He’s probably watching the radar at work and wondering what part of the Delmarva Peninsula I am in?  I could be anywhere from Rock Hall MD to Chincoteague VA to Dover DE…  I am actually only 5 miles from home, but I am in the worst possible location – by myself, in the middle of a huge storm!  At least it’s not windy anymore, the rain is steady but getting lighter, and I haven’t seen any lightning since we all went through Odessa.

I crossed paths with another rider caught out in the storm.  He waved, I nodded.  Somehow it seemed as though the message “I feel your pain, Ride Safe, Good luck to you” was passed between us.

Mile #6
Another traffic light.  This time at US-40.  There is one car in front of me who stopped for the yellow, so I’ll be here for awhile.  The left-turning vehicles are coming into the opposite lane now.  Oh no, they are riding through a stream across the roadway!  I am going to have to go through that…and it’s right where I’ll be shifting into 2nd gear!  Steady pace, no sudden moves, keep an even throttle, shift either before I reach it or after I clear it.  I can handle this – it’s just like that time Lem took us for an ice cream ride down Rt-9 and there was standing water all across the roadway.

I lifted my face shield so it didn’t fog up as I sat there, and made the executive decision to keep it up as a sort of visor so I had clear vision until I got through the intersection.  The light turned green, and my plan went off without a hitch.

Mile #7
I ride up and down Rt-72 to work every day.  I could do it with my eyes closed.  It’s one of my favorite roads to ride – not so much because of its excellent twisties or anything, but because its sweeping curves are so familiar.  I feel very at home on this road.  Oh crap, sweeping curves!  I’ve been going pretty much in a straight line so far, but the coefficient of friction is not as great in a curve.  I hope I don’t go sliding across the roadway.  Choose your line very carefully…

Ya know, that pickup truck behind me is staying way back even though I’m going significantly under the speed limit.  That’s pretty considerate of him.  He probably sees some psycho soaking wet chick on a bike and feels sorry for me.

The curves went OK, now for the railroad tracks.  Mikey slid out on railroad tracks in the rain when he was riding his brand new V-Rod home from the dealership the night he bought it.  Banged it up pretty bad.  Not a good thought.  Watch your line, angle it perpendicular, hold it steady.

Mile #8
Almost home – so far, so good.  It’s only drizzling now.  As I sit at the traffic light at Old Baltimore Pike, I can actually see the sky starting to clear off in the direction of my house.  I have intentionally chosen the left lane because the roadway under the I-95 overpass just a few blocks up always has standing water in the right lane every time it rains.

My bike is idling funny.  She doesn’t sound steady at all.  Please don’t stall out on me girl, please don’t stall…  I keep giving her just a little bit of throttle as I sit there, just to keep a strong rumble.

Mile #9
The pickup truck that has been behind me pulls into the right lane.  What a jerk, I think…he is going to barrel  past me through the standing water and splash it all up on me as I go under the bridge!  And I thought he was considerate before…ha!

Oh crap!  There is a whole bunch of traffic all jammed up on the other side of the overpass.  I see some flashy yellow lights up ahead, like the big lane closure arrows, but I can’t quite make them out.  Holy Noah’s Ark, Batman!  The entire road is completely flooded out – at least 4 inches deep, all 4 lanes across, and almost a block long!  that stream across US-40 had nothing on this flowing river! 

Everybody is inching through in both directions at like 5 mph.  At least that means the splashing should be kept to a minimum.  It’s too late now to do anything about it – I’m going in!  OMG, OMG, OMG…  As I got to the other side of the overpass the water just kept getting deeper.  I swear it had to be 6 inches deep at one point.  One of the cars that was coming the other way apparently didn’t get the memo about going slow and his wake splashed up to my knees as he passed me.  Somehow I managed to keep it steady all the way through…now what?  Brake lights?!!  Oh no, I cannot stop now!  I am knee deep in standing water!  Oh thank god you came to your senses…

Mile #10
I turned into the neighborhood and cruised along through a light mist.  Fourteen speed humps, 3 stop signs, around the corner into my court, and…why do people always have to park blocking my ramp up to the shed?  Now I am going to have to go down the sidewalk and around the tree.  Ugh!  And of course, the patio blocks in front of the door are completely underwater.

Well, I made it home safely, poured the water out of my boots, and took a nice hot shower (after calling Jay to let him know I was OK).  This was a Million Mile Monday adventure I will not soon forget!

CARGO Basics Tailbag - Review

The princess and the blue ridge

Two summers ago I made the difficult decision to give up my first motorcycle.  It was a bittersweet decision though, because I was letting her go in exchange for a “big girl bike” - my 2008 Harley-Davidson Super Glide!  I chose this new bike because it was elegant yet simple, pure machine.  I liked the stripped down, bare bones look of the bike…as well as the stripped down price tag!

I knew I didn’t want to add saddlebags or even a pillion seat.  One day I would like to get some fancy “swoopy” pipes and replace the boring rubber footpegs with something a little prettier, but I definitely do not want to gear it all up.  Although I enjoy using Jay’s Low Rider as my pack mule when we go on trips, I really dislike “the look”.  I don’t even like when he rides around town with the sissy-bar T-Bag as he normally does.  His bike looks sexy when he strips her down and rides her naked!  THAT’s the look I want for my bike.

Geroge Washington Crossing Park

Herein lies the problem…  “stripped down” means no place to store or bring along ANYTHING.  No rain gear, no sunscreen, no extra layer for warmth after the sun goes down.  Heck, there’s not even a place to put my wallet & cell phone!  (I’ve already lost one phone flying out of a back pocket somewhere along the North East Extension; I’m not really looking forward to that happening again!)  As the chapter photographer, I MUST have a way to bring along my camera!

So I quickly decided that I would need to put a luggage rack on my rear fender and get a bag to strap onto it.  I searched high and low and found very few choices.  Oh, there are tons of luggage choices for motorcycles, but the vast majority have a vertical design and are made to slip over a sissy bar.  My bike has a solo seat and no back rest, so that was out of the question.  Besides, I didn’t want this stupid bag sticking up and ruining the artful flow and line of my beautiful bike!  My other options for tailbags were all designed for use on a sport bike (which, if ya hadn’t noticed, has an entirely different tail end design than my Harley).  Fitment would be a logistical nightmare, not to mention that the designs were just all wrong.  It would look about as out of place as Bobby Munson wearing a designer jogging suit!

My search was fruitless and downright frustrating, until my hero came to the rescue!  Jay found a sleek yet functional tailbag for my bike at Cycle Gear.  It is the CARGO Basics Tailbag and at $49.99 it won’t break the bank. Part# 61807. The bag comes with an assortment of attachment options including wrap-around flaps with a clip, bungee cords, a set of flat ribbed rubber straps, and lots of hooks and loops to weave straps or cords through.

CARGO Basics Tailbag

After about an hour of working many different options, we cut off the flaps, removed the bungee cords, and wove the rubber straps through several loops and around the fender rack.  It made for a nice snug fit so the bag would not slip and slide from side to side or front to back.  Only problem is that it is not going anywhere, ever.  So the detachable shoulder strap for carrying the bag into your hotel room for instance is useless. 

The bag also sports a zipper around the base perimeter which allows it to expand to near double capacity.  It is supposed to be able to hold a full face helmet when fully expanded.

rain cover

Another feature of the bag is the outside pockets.  There are flat pockets the length of each side.  I keep the included rain cover (aka “shower cap”) on one side, and my chapstick and sunscreen face-stick on the other.  There is also a small compartment on what I’ll call the “front” end of the bag which is a perfect size for my camera or a pair of sunglasses.

The main compartment is just the right size to carry rain gear or a hoodie along with throwing in my wallet, cell phone, house keys, and a bottle of sunscreen.  It closes via a top flap attached at the front with zippers running down each side that are connected by a short cord.  You pull the cord, and both zippers pull closed (or open, as the case may be) easy as pie!  When expanded, I can fit in a rolled up pair of jeans, t-shirt, tank top, nightie, underwear, socks, flip-flops, and a sandwich-sized ziploc bag filled with travel-size toiletry items…in other words, enough gear for a weekend trip!

Diana’s Bike at Harriman State Park

I do really like this bag, and have gotten a LOT of use out of it.  Over the past two years I have had many people ask me about the bag and where I got it.  My only real complaint is that it has faded quite a bit.  It would be nice if I could find a way to mount it that was easy to get on and off, but I need it on the bike probably 95% of the time so I am willing to give up that luxury.

Riding with tailbag

The bottom line is that this is a very useful, attractive bag.  It suits my needs and tastes.  Even after all of the use and abuse that it has gotten, it has held up well and the only sign of wear is the faded color.  I highly recommend this tail bag as an accessory for day & overnight trips.  If you are going to do more serious touring, you are going to need more serious luggage!  For your day-to-day riding needs, this little bag does the trick!