An Insane Woman’s Thoughts – Part 3

“Am I crazy?  I am the pee-wee football team mom, the little league baseball scorebook keeper, etc.  I am the professional spectator!  I won’t even play volleyball at a backyard cookout.  What am I thinking?  Learn to ride a motorcycle?  I must be crazy – I don’t even know what a throttle is!”

“Therein is exactly the point!  I need to know what a throttle is.  I need to find out how you shift gears with your hands.  Maybe I will never actually take the handlebars myself after the class, but I have got to find out how this machine works!”  So off I went on a search for motorcycle riding lessons…

First I discovered that there was something called a Motorcycle Safety Basic Rider Course offered through the Motor Vehicle Administration.  It only cost like a hundred bucks…I could do that.  Except every class was booked up all the way through October!  Maybe if I checked another location…nope, they were all booked up too!  I guessed this motorcycle frenzy was bigger than I thought.  Harley-Davidson stocks were up to $50 a share that year, and every time I turned around there was another motorcycle themed show popping up on TV.

Then I found that Harley dealers offered a Rider’s Edge class, but at $250 that was way out of my league!  If I could somehow manage to swing it…no, they were all booked up too.  “Why am I so upset about this?  I’m just a psycho divorcee trying desperately to find myself.  I probably won’t even be able to handle those big bikes anyway.  This whole idea is just stupid.”

I pined away in disappointment for months until one day out of the blue Jay called and told me he had just signed up for a Basic Rider Class at Cecil Community College and there were still a few slots open if I was interested.  Within 24-hours I was registered for the class, though it wouldn’t be until the end of August.

In the meantime it occurred to me that if I was going to learn to ride, no one in their right mind was going to let some crazy 36-year old chick practice riding on their prized Harley!  (Not to mention the fact that I barely even knew anyone who had a bike anyway)  I figured I’d have to pick up some old used piece of crap machine that was cheap and it didn’t matter if I dropped it a million times.  Yet I didn’t know a Ninja from a Goldwing, so I’d better start doing some research into just how much this kind of thing might cost me.

“I’ve never been on eBay before…”

* This article first appeared in print in the November issue of Fast Lane Biker Delamarva and is the third in an ongoing series of articles by Diana Green.