Discovery Channel Addict & Motorcycle Mania

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I grew up on dirtbikes. As a practical adult I resisted the urge to ride until the Discovery Channel awoke the rider within me. Now I spend all my time and money on riding! Damn cable TV!

I blame the Discovery Channel! I thought motorcycling was something I did as a kid and had outgrown. I survived my youth on dirtbikes without serious injury and had moved on with my life. Every spring I would get a tiny tiny itch to ride but it would come and go quickly. Then I started to watch the Discovery Channel. I had seen Motorcycle Mania with Jesse James a few times. I watched the lunacy known as American Chopper quite often. But I lived for Biker Build Off! I was hooked from the day I saw Perewitz vs Lane. Watching the super stars of bike building became an addiction. Dave Perewitz represented my home team being that I’m originally from Massachusetts. I came to worship Billy Lane,  Russel Mitchell and Indian Larry. I read and memorized the profile of every builder in Tom Zimberoff’s book Art of The Chopper. I would travel great distances to have the master bike builders sign my Zimberoff book at bike shows. I got autographs from Matt Hotch and Eddie Trotta. I spoke with Perewitz and Lane. I had a few drinks with Russell Mitchell and Paul Yaffe in Ocean City, Maryland during Delamarva Bike Week. I met Indian Larry at a tattoo show in Atlantic City one month before his fatal accident. I yearned to own a bike as cool as the bikes they built.I dreamed of thundering into town on a loud stretched custom with chrome and paint that would shock everyone.  The hottest babes would compete for my attention and beg for a ride. I would take off out of town with a super model holding me tight. We would ride off into the desert as the sun set. I would be the coolest dude ever if I had a customized Harley or chopper. I had become a die hard biker wanna be! It was all because of the damned Discovery Channel!

I got a few more tattoo’s. I purchased some really expensive Harley Davidson boots and shirts. I read more chopper books . I eagerly anticipated the arrival of Easy Rider in my mail box every month. I went to Hooters every bike night and stayed until after the last bike left. Then I would drive home in my little white Honda Civic. I went to more bike shows and visited more Harley dealerships than I care to remember. I started hanging out with the bikers on the porch of the local biker bar and talking exhaust systems and the like. When asked “what do you ride?” I would shrug and point at my authentic Harley Davidson boots. Sounds pathetic, doesn’t it?

Finally I took the plunge and purchased my first Harley Davidson motorcycle for six grand. I didn’t have six grand but I have great credit. I just wrote out one them great credit card checks I get in the mail all the time. We’ll call this bike the painted pig. I loved that bike, but it rarely worked. Probably the worst purchasing decision ever! Or was it?

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4 Responses to “Discovery Channel Addict & Motorcycle Mania”

  1. Hey! I like the Discovery Channel! Besides baby, it was one of the things that brought us together.
    Ah, the old times…going to bike shows; getting my picture taken with Arlen Ness, Matt Hotch, and Eddie Trotta; Russell Mitchell saying I smell nice and buying me a beer… 😀
    But now we have touring experiences to great places like the Little Grand Canyon & Skyline Drive–fabulous rides and great stories (flying cell phones, patio chair acrobatics, hijacking hotel hospitality staff carts…) LOL!
    I guess it is always better to look back fondly at the good old times, but move forward toward even greater experiences and expanding our horizons. We have many roads ahead of us, and I am looking forward to every one of them! 🙂

  2. Little white Honda Civic…that’s pathetic!! Glad to hear you moved up in the world and finally joined the ranks of real riders 🙂

  3. I have to tell you Jay, you’ve got balls the size of church bells.

    The closest I came to impersonating a biker when I actually didn’t own one, was that day I told you about when I rented the Dyna in Florida. I actually went to HD of Ocala and bought a T shirt and a “Bronco” leather vest. I found a cheapo pair of engineer’s boots at some other store. My wife thought I was nuts. “All this just to ride a bike for a day?” I knew it was a lot of money to spend for one day, but I was determined to look the part, if only for a short while.

    But there’s NO WAY that I’d have had the stones to go and hang out at biker bars, dressed as a biker, but with no bike. I’d have been afraid of getting my ass kicked for being a poser! In fact, I never wore that stuff again, except for one Halloween party, until the day I bought my Sportster. The vest had gotten tighter after 8 years – thank God for vest extenders!

  4. Nothing wrong with kick’n back and talking about bike stuff. I think I held my own conversationwise. I never said I had a bike and when asked I told the sad truth. But then again you’re right, sometimes I got some big ones. Sorta like a Jack Russell Terrier. They think they are bigger than they are. I think they would take on a pit without even thinking about it.

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